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Everyone is awful: a bullet-point post

August 14, 2012
  • Are we done complaining about Christine Sinclair yet? No really. The woman is the all-time top scorer for the Canadian national team, and for the last seven years (seven years) she’s been the Canada Soccer Player of the Year. She led her team to an Olympic medal (something we were constantly whining Canada did not have enough of). She scored a fucking hat trick at the Olympics. She scored the most goals in the tournament. But she made the mistake of being honest about how she felt. She thought her team played well enough to beat an unbeatable team but that they were robbed. Didn’t we say the same thing (without the risk of getting suspended by anyone)? She (and we) might have been wrong but she was honest about what she thought and spoke up about it. Is that really bad sportsmanship? It’s not like she has a reputation for it. If I ever have daughters I want them to be more like Sinclair, not less.
  • Sup, Twitter. We gotta talk for a sec. We have collectively become quite unbearable, and maybe let’s try to be less shitty, if that’s cool. There’s no way this isn’t coming out all self-righteous and preachy, so I apologize in advance, and here goes:
  • Let’s all try to stop constantly complaining about all the mundane things that happen in our lives.You cannot possibly have had a totally bad day every day since you joined Twitter. Take a quick read through your tweets from the last couple of days. Can’t find a positive one among them? Make it a point to post a certain number of cheerful things a day. It makes people like you better. We all whine about stuff and Twitter is a great outlet for that, but constant whining brings people down and people get less and less forgiving about it over time.
  • Please stop forcing your arguments with people into our timelines (e.g. by tweeting at someone and putting ‘.’ before their username). The reason we don’t follow the person you’re having an argument with is because we don’t want to see your argument with them. My favourite nemesis, PPP, pointed out that sometimes people do it because they think their followers might find a discussion interesting. That’s fair, and yes, if it is interesting, by all means tell us about it, but I don’t care how hard you pwn someone I probably already disagree with in 140 characters, so please don’t wave it in my face. Constant arguing is exhausting, and eventually leads to people not wanting to follow you. I have zero tolerance for constant arguers. Pick your battles, and only tell us about it if it would change our lives to know about it.
  • If someone writes or says something interesting, share it. These days it seems like all we share is people saying really stupid or inappropriate things, and mass yelling usually ensues. I miss when people used to retweet jokes and witty comments. More, please.
  • Here are a few things that put your extreme insecurity on display: 1. Retweeting compliments. 2. Name-dropping. 3. Name-dropping. 4. Retweeting compliments. 5. Name-… you get the idea. I’m not saying you should stop doing it, just that it puts your extreme insecurity on display. Have a sense of humour about yourself. It’s fun.
  • You know what I do enjoy, though, is when people retweet other people complimenting each other. It’s not something that happens often but I like when it does.
  • Also please don’t call your own shit ‘must-read.’ If it’s good, we’ll call it that for you, don’t worry. If YOU have to do it, it’s probably a must-skip.
  • Finally, don’t be an asshole. If you disagree with someone or want to critique them, you can do it without being a jerk.
  • I know I’m probably guilty of all of the above sins, but I promise I’ll try to stop if you will, too. Cool?
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5 Comments leave one →
  1. August 14, 2012 12:21 pm

    You can criticize someone without being a jerk? No way. Just… no way. On the internet?? 😉

  2. Vinny Piccolo (@Rosetintedvisor) permalink
    August 14, 2012 12:33 pm

    im guilty of a few of these

  3. August 14, 2012 12:58 pm

    Christine Sinclair rocks. There will be no criticism of Christine Sinclair. I would like to team her with Haley Wickenheiser and take over the world.

  4. August 14, 2012 1:04 pm

    Any criticism of Chuck Sinclair is so deeply soaked in male and national insecurity it can immediately be mocked and ignored.
    Nice work, active. It’s going to be a shame to have to stop following you when hockey starts again.

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