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Quick thoughts as the Year Of The Stanchion* comes to an end

June 15, 2011

  • Serious fear: it’s the last possible game of the year and the Stanley Cup is on the line. What’s stopping you from taking a run at Roberto Luongo or Tummy Thomas a minute into the game? I hope these teams are ready.
  • I also hope these officials have somehow managed to acquire some eyes.
  • Instead of a handshake line, there should be a facewash line for this series. A hack-slash-punch-bite-dive-facewash line.
  • And after that, the media and fans should form a pot-kettle line.
  • Except for Mike Milbury, who should form a line all by himself and walk into the Pacific Ocean and not come back.
  • Stop asking me how I can cheer forVancouver against the Bruins if you’ve cheered for Philadelphia against my team.
  • … And on the 14th day of the Stanley Cup Final Round, when we had exhausted each and every possible reason to disagree with each other and everybody else, we began to argue about whether the trainers present at the time endangered Mason Raymond’s health by allowing him to skate off the ice after being awkwardly hit by Johnny Boychuk…
  • You know, because we are all experts in medicine, anatomy, a hockey trainer’s job and what goes on in Mason Raymond’s head.
  • If you missed the sarcasm in the above bullet point, good luck to your team tonight. Oh yeah, and we are not actually experts. However, there is an excellent blog about hockey injuries written by somebody with an actual medical background (!) you should check out: Puck, that hurts! If I remember correctly, JoNana tweeted that she would address MayRay next week, after she was done with exams. In the meantime, read the fascinating stuff that’s already on there.
  • I wanted Vancouverto beat Boston in four, but I never say no to a Game 7. I hope there’s overtime.
  • Predicted weeks ago that Maxim Lapierre had a date with the Stanley Cup winning goal.
  • If it’s not Lapierre, it will be Michael Ryder. And I will not get out of bed for the next two weeks.
  • I can’t wait to see Tummy win his Conn Smythe. And proceed to bite into it. I love when the fat kid wins. If he weren’t a Bruin I’d want him to win the Cup, too.
  • There are maybe a handful, at most, fans of either team that I can tolerate. I will be happy for them if their team wins.
  • Other than that, I’ll keep my mouth shut. Let’s not begrudge a bunch of fellow hokcey fans their joy in watching something that they’ve been waiting for for so long just because they piss us off a lot.
  • I’m very glad this ugly year is over. Is it October yet?

*It’s not that I can’t let that go. It’s that I called it that one day and some good-natured Bruins fans and a Canucks fan liked it. It’s for the crazies I already knew and the crazies I met that weekend inToronto. Love.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. therangersfan permalink
    June 15, 2011 11:34 am

    I get a little gay alarm from Thomas…

    • theactivestick permalink*
      June 15, 2011 2:04 pm

      I’m not sure if it’s the goalies that are setting off your gaydar, or if it’s just that you have a thing for goalies 🙂

  2. June 15, 2011 1:31 pm

    I love this post!

    There’s probably about 5 fans of either team that I’ll be happy for, and I suppose I’ll have to rest happy knowing that those people will see something they have never seen before (or have only seen once).

    In addition to Milbury, can Stock, Healy and a the entire contigent of Boston media follow suit? Then again, these windbags are so filled with hot air they’d probably float all the way to Hawaii for a nice tropical vacation.

    In the end, I have to consider that I’m 33 years old, and have never had to deal with either the Leafs or Bruins winning the cup. It’s not so bad if they’re a combined 1/66 is it?

    • theactivestick permalink*
      June 15, 2011 2:06 pm

      If they’re on vacation they are not writing or broadcasting, so I’m cool with that.

    • December 29, 2014 2:30 pm

      That inshgit would have saved us a lot of effort early on.

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