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Scrubbing myself with steel wool

May 31, 2011
  • I am cheering for Maxim Lapierre’s name to be on the Stanley Cup.
  • The same Cup that has Jean Beliveau’s name on it.
  • I am cheering for Fucking Ryan Kesler, who made us all hate America last year.
  • Incidentally, I have also developed a crush on the aforesaid Fucking Ryan Kesler.
  • I am cheering for Alexandre Despatie Burrows.
  • I am cheering for Roberto Luongo to do something I constantly laugh at him for not being able to do.
  • I am cheering for the Sedin twins, who are not the top two forwards in the NHL, despite what Nucks fans would have you believe.
  • Also they’re strange-looking and it really freaks me out.
  • I am cheering for Jim Hughson to be able to call a Stanley Cup Win for the Vancouver Canucks.
  • Really.
  • I am cheering for those attention whores, the Green Men and Canucks Boob Girl, to celebrate in the streets of Vancouver.
  • I am cheering for the rest of the Vancouver fanbase to become even more intolerable than the rest of Canada currently finds them.
  • I am cheering for… Raffi Torres.

There will not be enough heroin in the world if the Boston Bruins win this thing.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. May 31, 2011 11:37 pm

    I think you’ll get your wish…but you may have to deal with Ryan Kesler winning the Conn Smythe. You can check out our series preview at

    How does someone love the Red Sox and hate the Bruins…you are quite the enigma, eh?!?

    • theactivestick permalink*
      June 1, 2011 12:01 am

      Thanks for reading! I checked out your preview and I desperately hope you guys are right.

      The year the Expos left was the year of the Team of Destiny and of the Bloody Sock. It kind of grew from there. I sometimes cheat on my Sox with the Blue Jays (like I did this weekend when I went to see them play the White Sox in Toronto), but the Red Sox are my true baseball love.

  2. Number31 permalink
    May 31, 2011 11:43 pm

    Yea… God help us all…

    Still, it’s better than “Hey, break a kid’s neck, get away with it! And do various other acts that get most players suspended with no consequences ’cause Gary loves his fancy contract your boss pushed for him. Success is built on violence and corruption, kids!”

    I can tolerate Kesler kissing the Cup over Chara/Lucic/FuglyFloater/Timmeh/Douche. They might melt it.

  3. June 1, 2011 9:00 am

    The funniest part of this series is how the CBC must be ripping itself apart from the inside. They have another Canadian team to pump in the finals, but half of their staff waves Bruins pompoms. There will be a nice contrast of “viewpoints” when Jim Hughson gives way to Cherry/Milbury/Stock.

    But if the Bruins win this, you’re right, there isn’t enough heroin in the world to make us forget it. And there isn’t enough bleach to scrub the sight from my mind. As much as they have done the important things right, never would a douchier group of guys win the cup. I think Bergeron is literally the only player I’d be happy for. To make matters worse, Shawn Thornton would have 2 cup rings, while Saku has none. Hell, the fact that he has one at all while Saku goes without is a travesty.

  4. June 1, 2011 11:28 am

    Oh, how I feel your pain.

  5. June 1, 2011 3:01 pm


    I’m rooting for Vancouver, too. Not out of intense hatred for Boston, but because the Sedins are ridiculous, Kesler’s a dreamboat, Luongo deserves a Cup, and because I want there to be a “Malhotra” on the Cup, for all eternity.

    • theactivestick permalink*
      June 1, 2011 3:12 pm

      Uuuuh, Jim? That was deflected off of Joe Pavelski’s skate. Jim? … Never mind.

      I don’t ever want the Leafs to win a Cup, but would console myself with the fact that there’d be a “Khadri” on the Cup ;).

      • Number31 permalink
        June 2, 2011 7:43 pm

        I prefer “BIG FAT REBOUND” but I think that’s Scott Oake.


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