Why Danielle should choose the Habs over the Isles
Danielle is one of my oldest and best friends. We met in the second grade back home, sort of lost touch for a while, and then ran into each other at McGill years (and thousands of miles) later. She moved to New York a couple of years ago.
The last time we spoke, I was so proud (overjoyed, yo) that she had started to develop an interest in hockey… but quite alarmed at the same time. You see, she’s dating an Islanders fan. And he’s taking her to Islanders games. And lending her Islanders jerseys.
Now she’s in grave danger. In order to save her from becoming Not a Habs Fan, I’ve decided to put together a list of reasons my Danielle should become a Habs fan over an Islanders fan, now that she’s taking an interest in hockey and everything.
- First of all, Danielle is absolutely gorgeous. Why would she want to mar that gorgeousness by wearing a universally unflattering colour like Isles orange? Bleu Blanc Rouge is much better suited to highlight her ridiculous hotness. Like the book says, Red is Best.
- Besides, look what happens when you try to go all retro barberpole on an Islanders jersey.
- That isn’t real, by the way. Don’t Trade Vinny made that for me, so give him some love and a glove bump.
- And for the love of all that is good and holy, DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME.
- Danielle is French (the kind that’s from France). Which means she speaks French, which automatically qualifies her to work as a Montreal Canadiens coach or even in the front office. This is presumably not the case with the Islanders, where I think they expect you to know some of the rules and stuff.
- Do the Islanders have PK Subban? No? /end argument.
- Being a sports fan can often be extremely frustrating. I find it can sometimes be less frustrating to like a team that has 2 or more NHL defensemen.
- Travis Moen is not an Islander. Therefore she cannot like the Islanders.
- Also, she cannot have Travis Moen, he is mine.
- The Montreal Canadiens play at the Bell Centre, which is in Montreal, whereas the New York Islanders play at Nassau Coliseum, which is not.
- James Wisniewski will always be known as the guy that may have wanted to blow Sean Avery. We have no such players on the Habs. (Don’t play this video in front of your children or boss.)
- Matt Moulson’s hair totally freaks me out. Is that normal?
- Again, like, look at that jersey. Even though it’s not real, I think you’ll agree that you will never be able to unsee it, and the thought should be enough to scare you away from the Islanders FOREVER.