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Plan the (penalty) parade: how to keep the Habs out of the penalty box

October 14, 2010

Three games in and the Montreal Canadiens have already taken a bazillion penalties (according to my own highly scientific research). If they’re not careful, their indiscipline will cost them their season. Shut up I know it didn’t last year but the Toronto Maple Leafs may not be so helpful this year.

So we need to start thinking about ways to keep the Habs out of the sin bin. I already have a few ideas for some of the players.

Michael Cammalleri: Allow hooking, slashing, tripping and high-sticking.

Michael Cammalleri: At least for the best forward on every team. Pittsburgh gets this, I feel the NHL should extend it to all the other teams. It’s only fair.

Maxim Lapierre: You thought I was going to say “outlaw the diving penalty,” didn’t you? Well, yeah, that, but we won’t need to worry for too long, as MaxLap seems quite determined to get suspended judging from the last game.

Benoit Pouliot: Tell him taking a penalty involves exerting some kind of effort. Problem solved.

Hal Gill: Well he wouldn’t have to keep tripping or hooking people if everybody on the ice would just slow down.

PK Subban: You don’t tell PK Subban to stop taking stupid penalties or try to be more disciplined. You tell him you heard Eberle say he couldn’t do it.

Mathieu Darche: Scratch him and call up Ryan White. Wait, what was this blog post about again?

Ryan O’Byrne: Cannot be helped. Leave him alone or I’ll come find you and burn the Komisarek jersey you told everyone you threw out.

Carey Price: As far as I know there is no current punishment for murdering your own teammates in the NHL rulebook, so we’re safe for now.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Number31 permalink
    October 15, 2010 1:02 am

    For Pouliot, just thinking about that might require some effort. He’s stuck in a loop.

  2. Jillian permalink
    October 15, 2010 8:12 pm

    PK Subban: You don’t tell PK Subban to stop taking stupid penalties or try to be more disciplined. You tell him you heard Eberle say he couldn’t do it.

    Love it :D,

    but seriously, how is it that the referees don’t see have the stuff us fans do? I swear they let other teams off the hook way more then they let the Hab off. we just need a break!

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