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How to behave during the Jaroslav Halak autograph signing

September 2, 2010

Halak Stop Sign

Have you heard have you heard Jaroslav Halak is coming to Montreal this Saturday to thank the fans in Montreal and raise money for Saku Koivu’s charity have you heard?

You haven’t heard? Where the hell have you been, living under a rock? That’s been wrapped in three blankets? And four sleeping bags? And buried seven feet deep? In the woods? In Siberia? (Does Siberia have woods?)

Cause otherwise, Allan Walsh (also known as The Agent, also known as @walsha, also known as the dude with the longest block list on Twitter) would have come found you and told you and made a Really Big Deal out of it.

(Halak is known as The Client. Walsh is known as The Agent. Can we go ahead and call this The World’s Most Anticlimactic Twitter Announcement Since We Knew It Was Coming Two Days Before?)

Anyway, it’s this Saturday, and I know everyone’s all excited, but let’s all agree that we should do our best to show some The Class. Here are some DO’s and DON’Ts for this weekend’s Halakstravaganza:

  • DO wear your Halak jersey if you really want to.
  • DON’T burn a Price one in the Fairview parking lot.
  • DO bring a Halak stop sign with you if you were into that craze.
  • DON’T attempt to shove it up Allan Walsh’s nose if he’s there.
  • DO tell Halak that you appreciated his time on the team.
  • DON’T ask him for Price’s cellphone number so you can text him death threats.
  • DO ask for a picture with Halak.
  • DON’T ask him if he has a picture of Price you can make a dartboard with.
  • DO sport your best Blocked By Walsha gear.
  • DON’T throw a concrete block at Walsh’s head.
  • DO chant Halak! Halak! Halak! one last time, I’m sure he’ll love to hear it.
  • DON’T practice your booing unless Price signs a contract by then.
  • DO wish Jaro luck in St. Louis.
  • DON’T ask him who Lars Eller is, he has no idea.
  • DO ask Halak if he’s cool with it before you give him a hug.
  • DON’T ask him if you can hug his hot girlfriend. The answer is ‘no’ accompanied by Goalie Death Stare.
  • DO remember my promise from a couple of months ago to all you would-be Price-booers: “And listen up, Habs fans. If a single one of you boos Carey at the Bell Centre next season, I will come find you. You can try to run. You can try to hide. But I will hunt you down. I will find your friends. I will kick you in the nuts. And then I will feed you to a Leafs fan.”
  • DON’T think I won’t.
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11 Comments leave one →
  1. Number31 permalink
    September 2, 2010 9:12 am

    You mean he won’t sign my Price shirt?

    I need to go to Fairview to get bedding and sprouts for HamsterPleky. Don’t think he’ll sign that…

  2. September 2, 2010 9:49 am

    Thanks for letting me know about the Blocked by Walsha tees. Even if the site crashed while I was processing my order. 😉

    Keep doing what you do. Please.

  3. September 2, 2010 10:30 am

    Excellent! And the walsha shirts made me chuckle.

  4. B8ovin permalink
    September 2, 2010 7:14 pm

    I’m a Caps season ticket holder here in the Capital of the best country in the history of the world (seriously) (I mean I’m seriously a Caps season ticket holder). Do you go on road games? I ask because I plan to boo Price and mockingly chant his name when the Habs visit the Phone Booth here, and I don’t want to get kicked in the nuts. Does it matter that my booing has nothing to do with Halak? And will you merely slap me and leave my nads un-booted if I say, honestly, that in the 11 years I’ve had season tickets Montreal fans are my favorite visiting fans by far?

    Regardless, good luck this year and I hope we get a chance to avenge the great series you guys had last year.

    • theactivestick permalink*
      September 2, 2010 11:29 pm

      If you’re a Caps fan (or a fan of any team that isn’t the Habs) booing Carey, I’m more than cool with it. It means he’s doing something right.

      It’s just… when the Habs fans do it… in his own barn… yeah, I will hurt them.

      I am super jealous that you have season tickets, and in DC of all places. Love the city and the team (although didn’t love them much during the series, of course). Never been to a Caps home game but I could spend weeks on end hanging out in DC.

      • B8ovin permalink
        September 3, 2010 1:09 am

        I can’t do much about your hanging out for weeks on end in D.C. (having lived here for more than 30 years I can honestly say that sounds…uhm…not as much fun to me as it might to you) but if you ever do make it here let me know and I’ll make sure you get tickets to a game (teams determined by schedule, of course). This is not an idle offer I mean it (hockey bloggers are my favorite minority charity).

  5. mehmtl permalink
    September 3, 2010 5:19 am

    I will help you find thoes Price booers!

  6. rezwankhan11 permalink
    September 3, 2010 7:44 am

    Its interesting.

  7. September 3, 2010 7:03 pm

    Great guide line. But Allan Walsh is not that bad.

  8. October 31, 2010 6:06 pm

    when it comes to sleeping bags, polyester sleeping bags with cotton padding are the best that you can buy :

  9. August 25, 2011 2:17 am

    Is it possible to install multiple joomla site on one wamp server?

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