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Other stuff Stevie can have

August 18, 2010

When the news broke that Steve Yzerman had traded Kari Ramo to the Montreal Canadiens for Cedrick Desjardins, Habs fans were understandably upset. After all, a dude they’d paid no attention to in the ECHL and AHL for more than 3 years was being taken from the Habs by Steve Yzerman in exchange for a dude whose name they’d only heard once or twice.

Since Yzerman seems pretty set on taking as much from the Habs as he possibly can, I’ve devised a plan that’s going to protect us Habs fans from further heartbreaks like losing our backup-to-our-third-string-goalie. Here’s what we’re gonna do: mark all the stuff we’d be willing to give up to Stevie with a big green sticker, so he’ll know what’s cool to steal and what’s spoken for in Montreal. I’ve already started putting green stickers on some stuff Stevie can have:

J-Mart

For free, Stevie, for FREE

  • Jack Todd.
  • The Habs’ inevitable early season slump.
  • Fans who show up to games wearing blackface.
  • The Boston Bruins and all their fans (no need to send the Panthers and their fan back this way).
  • Anybody who has ever appeared on l’Antichambre.
  • The Habs’ inevitable mid-season slump.
  • Fans who boo or drown out any national anthem.
  • Jacques Martin.
  • That throwback jersey that looked like a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey that the Habs wore that one game.
  • Scott Gomez’s cap hit.
  • PJ Stock.
  • The Habs’ inevitable late season slump.
  • Fans who boo Carey Price.
  • Anyone in the Montreal/Quebec MSM with a blogue.
  • All the losses to the Maple Leafs the Habs were gonna have this year.
  • Except that OT loss in the final game of the regular season, we’re keeping that one cause we need it.
  • All the lighters, matches, portable gas cylinders and accelerants within 500km of the city.
  • Dan Ellis… oh. Right.

Mad lovez to Don’t Trade Vinny for the picture of a heavily-discounted J-Mart. Say hi.

And feel free to tell me if I’ve missed anything.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. August 18, 2010 9:11 am

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this list!

    If he hadn’t left of his own accord I would have suggested Benoit Brunet go to where all Quebecers eventually end up. Mario Tremblay may soon find his name on this list.

    Would it be too much to ask for Stevie Y to take the misery of January and February with him as well?

  2. Harry M permalink
    August 18, 2010 12:10 pm

    Good post Active Stick!

    Give him the Bell Center for the Old Forum. I still miss it even though I’m a B’s fan.

  3. August 18, 2010 9:54 pm

    Hey look, Ana is scared of the Leafs again.

    Otherwise, I chuckled at a few. If anyone wants to be proactive in getting PJ Stock to Tampa, I’ll pitch in some cash.

  4. August 18, 2010 10:01 pm

    That is hilarious! Although some of them I completely agree with. But you forgot Youppi!

  5. Number31 permalink
    August 18, 2010 10:35 pm

    PLEASE TAKE JOEL BOUCHARD and his skunk hair.

    I think he already has Pierre McGuire somewhere OMG LOOK OUT STEVE (Stamkos)!

  6. August 21, 2010 6:13 pm

    I will personally pay for shipping – and a musical thank-you card – if Stevie’s even mildly considering swiping Jack Todd.

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