Thoughts as I slowly lose my sanity

How have I survived all the other offseasons since I fell in love with hockey? How in Koivu’s name did I survive the lockout year? Since when do I go out and socialize or pursue other interests? Did all of you guys know The Big Bang Theory was such a good show? Or that it even existed? When is hockey coming back? Would you like some bullet points to tide you over for a bit? Maybe I need this more than you.

• The Price contract talks are the new Vinny Lecavalier trade rumour.  I’ve already told you what the deal is. Stop with the Niemi-to-Montrealation.
• The Rat Trick‘s Frank and I started a brief discussion about Christopher Higgins the other day, but never got a chance to really elaborate on our expectations for Higgy on the Panthers this coming season. All I know is that I am not optimistic, and it makes me really sad.
• Let’s go back and do the WHY CAN’T GAUTHIER SIGN PRICE FIRE HIM AND TRADE CAREY thing to death again.
• Cause, like, really, what else is there to talk about right now?
• Oh, right, the captain stuff.
• My vote is for Brian Gionta, as you all already know, but there are a lot of players on this roster you could make a good case for. After Gio, my vote goes in this order: Josh Gorges, Andrei Markov, Michael Cammalleri, Hal Gill.
• No, the Captain’s job description does not specifically include ‘skating backwards.’
• You know I’ve always been a Price girl. But I already really, really miss Halak. For pretty much the entire second half of the season he was the team’s anchor and happy as I am for the little dude, it is going to be very weird seeing Alex BAuld backing Carey up. Not good weird. Having your in-laws ask you about your sex life at the dinner table weird.
• Kyle Wellwood is… still without an NHL contract.
• See what I did there?
• Oh, by the way, Guillaume Latendresse is fat.
• I’m not sure if Stevie’s done pillaging the Montreal Canadiens yet, but in case he’s not, nobody tell him what an offer sheet is.
• Also, like, it would be awesome if he started stealing from the Bruins a little.
• Rick Nash is also fat.
• Don’t you just wanna pinch his cheeks?
• The Calgary Flames unleashed a new sweater unto the world, especially for the Heritage Classic. Somebody forgot to tell them the game they’re playing is hockey, not rugby.