Vintage theactivestick and our Yzerman problems
My good friend DBlye seems to have dug up some vintage me, circa World Cup 2006 (I think). He sent me this message earlier:
Below is possibly my favourite piece of work that you have ever written. To provide context, it was to settle an argument between Jon [last name] and I on the differences between English and Italian football fans.
“Jon, we do not make fun of England fans when there are Italy fans to be made fun of. You see, it’s simply a waste of time. I mean, France fans kind of do the the same thing as well, but again, next to the Italy fans, they’re nothing. See, England has the hooligans and France has the fanatic egotism (plus that whole not showering enough thing) but Italy fans? I’ll try to explain in a language you are more proficient in.
Take one Red Sox fan. Add a pinch of Habs fan (shut up, I am one myself) and two heaping tablespoons of Leafs fan and mix well. Cover with two Lakers fans and bake at 475 loud obnoxious phrases that don’t mean anything. Top with half a cup of Packers fan, half a cup of Patriots fan and leave it to stew over something unimportant for a while. Now the last step is very important. YOU MUST COMBINE JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF THESE INGREDIENTS AT JUST THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE. They don’t work separately. A dash of Mets fan, a slice of Yankees fan, one part White Sox fan and a bit of Cubs fan. Again, you must combine it all together veeery carefully and then pour it all over what you baked earlier. Freeze it for two days while it gets over losing game seven of the finals/the Superbowl/whatever. It is now ready.
What you’ve ended up with? About 0.00001% as obnoxious as an Italy fan.
Now do you begin to see? It’s not really about how often their team wins or loses, is it. It’s just… the… way… they… are.
Hope this cleared it up.”
I guess I’ve always been good at hate-ons. A big Thank You to DB for digging that up and sending it to me, I got a little nostalgic, too.
In any case, I was scratching my head wondering why the Montreal Canadiens would want Alex Picard for a year, and Don’t Trade Vinny’s crack reporting helped me figure it out. Clearly, this Yzerman dude has got to be stopped, check DTV out and find out what Stevie’s done now.