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Why the Montreal Canadiens haven’t signed Carey Price yet

July 27, 2010

It’s almost August and the Habs don’t currently have a starting goaltender. Rumours are being tossed around all over the place and sometimes flung pretty far, but nobody really knows what’s going on. And you know us Habs fans, always calm and levelheaded about anything that has to do with our team, particularly when it comes to the goaltending.

So why hasn’t Price been signed yet? There are several possible reasons negotiations aren’t progressing as quickly as we’d like:

  • The Habs want Carey to smoke only two cigarettes at a time as part of his conditioning and he is objecting.
  • There is no parking space big enough for his Ford F350 (otherwise known as Hillbilly Pimp) at the Bell Centre.
  • He doesn’t think the Habs can win without Halak, either.
  • As I noted on Twitter, the Habs are so far refusing to include fire insurance for Price’s genitalia in the contract.
  • Jacques Martin has a strict “no earplug” policy at the Bell Centre.
  • The Canadiens are unable to promise Carey in writing that Pierre McGuire will not be between the benches any time Alex Auld is the starter.
  • Since the day he was first called up, somebody has been stealing the country music CDs from his locker and replacing them with French books.
  • He heard that the Toronto Maple Leafs are giving out free heart procedures to their goalies and feels that Canadiens goalies should get that, too.
  • Geoff Molson’s babyface freaks Carey the fuck out.
  • Montreal has run out of mobsters whose daughters he can mess with.
  • Contrary to popular belief, he’s actually okay with the ‘Jesus Price’ nickname. It’s when Habs fans follow it up with “Jesus saves” that he has a problem.
13 Comments leave one →
  1. July 27, 2010 9:27 am

    Love this!

    Also, I wouldn’t stand for anyone stealing my country CD’s either!

  2. Harry M permalink
    July 27, 2010 9:47 am

    I’m so glad the B’s don’t have any issues in net. Looks like the Habs will be battling for that coveted 8th spot in the east again.

  3. JPJ permalink
    July 27, 2010 11:30 am

    Wait a minute!!! Cary Price may not want to return to Montreal!!
    Has anyone thought about that one?

  4. July 27, 2010 12:28 pm

    Wait a minute!!! Maybe Cary Price wants to return to Montreal but they are negotiating more than just this contract and spending lots of time talking about his future with the team!! Has anyone thought about that one?

  5. Joe Macklin permalink
    July 27, 2010 7:38 pm

    Clean house of all the top brass. Over the last six years they have nothing to show for it. Gainey was a good player but a terrible General Manager. This team is going down.

  6. IcE ColD permalink
    July 27, 2010 8:24 pm

    Sorry for the French books thing, I thought Carey knew how to read.

  7. Number31 permalink
    July 27, 2010 9:15 pm

    Sergei stole his country music CDs. Andrei wouldn’t let him take his.

  8. JPJ permalink
    July 28, 2010 10:28 am

    The team is not going down……..it is now better up front than during the playoff run.
    Markov and PK Subban will be great defensive anchors.
    The Halak deal…..still total shock…..hopefully Cary Price learned a lot sitting on the bench
    watching the Penguins and Capitals go down in 7
    Can Cary handle the pressure in Montreal….that is the question.
    Hey,playing hockey in California for the LA Kings wouldn`t be all that bad.
    Would anyone turn that down?

  9. Bev Seney permalink
    August 2, 2010 12:19 pm

    I have nothing to say that is funny, my understanding is that Price’s agent does not want him to sign a long term contract, expecting that Carey will play really well and in two years go for the big money. As for the team, I feel that as habs fans we always want to see our team do well, but I feel that we have made progress, we have won our conference two years ago, still made the playoffs each year and this past year we were three wins away from the finals. So considering there are 30 teams in the league how many other teams have done that? This coming year we have gone to a youth movement and building a team. Only time will tell but I expect that we may take a step backward this year because of this but that is not all bad. We have a older defence and will have to make some moves this year during the season or at the trading deadline. If we can sign Markov and Gorges to long term contracts at the end of next year I feel we will be ready to start making a run. Of course all depends on how well the youth movement on our third line works out. We will probably start slow without Markov in the lineup again this fall. After last year’s injury we saw how valuable he was. Hopefully PK matures this year into a solid defenceman. We should have a good defence, as long as Hammer and Spacek don’t have to play too many minutes. They are both good defenceman, but cannot play 20+ minutes again and more, we saw that last year as the year progressed. Our forward lines have had time to get use to one another this year so they should do better this year as long as we can avoid injuries like last year.

    I see us in the mix and depending how well the young guys do we could be anywhere from 6th to 10th in our conference.

  10. August 17, 2010 11:38 pm

    I love it! 🙂

    Thanks for sharing

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