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Flyers – Habs Game 1 – I really wanted the Bruins

May 17, 2010

As if I wasn’t sick enough last night, the Habs turned in a performance that I swear was responsible for my food poisoning symptoms getting worse. There are so many reasons I did not want to face the Flyers this round, and believe it or not, my early-season prediction that they would make it to the SCF is not one of them. Even I know I’m full of shit. But the Flyers’ toughness, depth, and Quebecois factor don’t even matter when the Habs play the way they did last night.

They might as well not have shown up and forfeited the game. Everybody sucked. I don’t think I’ve seen a single playoff game when every player on the team just quits. What a mess. A split in Philly is now crucial. Without it, the series is pretty much over. There were no positive things about this game but you love the bullet points, so here goes:

  • It’s okay to be happy for your team. It’s not okay to be obnoxious or, like, criminal about it. Our collective behaviour after the first two series wins has resulted in fans of all these other teams being absolute assholes to us about this game. And to be quite frank, I’m sick of people kicking me when I’m down because other Habs fans are douchebags. I wish these people would just cut it out.
  • My man Travis Moen might have been the only person on this team to do something useful when he managed to take Pronger out for a few minutes.
  • I am madly, madly in love with Lauren Hart. I say this a lot. It’s true.
  • I couldn’t care less about Kate Smith – I don’t think it’s silly or creepy or outdated or annoying that the Flyers have this tradition, but 100% of the reason I support singing the national anthems before every NHL game is Lauren Hart, and I like it better when they don’t break out the whole Kate Smith stuff.
  • PK Subban hopefully learned a valuable Montreal lesson last night: the fans here can make you feel like you’re bigger than the team. You are so, so not.
  • The Habs have trailed in series before, and lost Game 1 against the Penguins, too.
  • Halak has been pulled twice in the playoffs, once in each series. Yes.
  • That said, this team is not the Penguins. Or the Capitals. This team wants it.
  • The Flyers took the Habs’ game and turned in on them. They were outshot by a wide margin in the first half of the game and didn’t lose their heads, and calmly and patiently massacred the Habs.
  • The Flyers fans took the Habs fans’ game and turned it on them, and I have to admit, it was kind of funny. If I weren’t a Habs fan I’d find it hilarious. But how we’re still the ones known as the most classless fans in the league is beyond me.
  • Scott Gomez is the new king of stupid, unnecessary penalties.
  • Scott Hartnell looks like a guy who couldn’t get clean if he took ten showers.
  • And a bath.
  • I can confirm that Carcillo’s pornstache is uglier than Pouliot’s pornstache.
  • But Pouliot’s makes him look more like a pedophile.
  • Also: why the pornstache? Someone please explain the appeal of walking around looking like that.
  • If Plekanec can manage to stop tripping all over himself (and/or being shoved) and landing on his goatee, he’ll be more of a factor in this series than the last one.
  • And by that I mean he’ll be a factor to begin with.
  • I know Martin has his things with certain players, but wouldn’t OB and Sergei be great in a tough, physical series? Just sayin’.
  • You woulda thunk, before this series, that there was a chance that the Habs would not be the team taking all the penalties. Hahahahahahaha.
  • These Habs can let this one go and find some gamefaces again. Gotta believe, right?
4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 17, 2010 10:03 am

    I agree with you about game 2. If the Habs don’t win it, we can count on having free nights in June because the Habs won’t be playing. It’s one thing to come from behind on a team that skates and shoots. If you skate, and have good goaltending, you stand a chance. It’s another thing entirely to fall behind a team that thrives on grinding you to dust.

    So when you get the inevitable blind faith optimist telling you to be strong in the face of an 0-2 hole, you can take some solace in that I’ll be in your camp. Going down 2 games to this Flyers team is a kiss of death.

    I believe they’ve shown too much to roll over and die, and I believe they’ll be back in force tomorrow night. After the re-emergence of the team that I thought was put to bed after 82 frustrating games, my faith is now injured and listed as day-to-day.

  2. May 17, 2010 8:14 pm

    OK yes about the pornstaches, but it’s hardly fair since Carcillo is ugly even without it, whereas Pouliot is downright cute without it. No contest.

    Anybody else remember Game 2 vs. the Pens?

  3. May 17, 2010 8:20 pm

    Kyle: “After the re-emergence of the team that I thought was put to bed after 82 frustrating games, my faith is now injured and listed as day-to-day.”

    I agree one hundred thousand percent.

    Active: If I played hockey and was male, I would do everything I can to grow the most ridiculous/hilarious playoff facial hair ever.

    Maybe I should go out for drinks with Pouliot to discuss.

    In one month.


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