Time for a quiz: How Would J-Mart Handle This?
It’s called “How Would Canadiens Coach Jacques Martin Handle This Everyday Situation?”
I took it and got every answer wrong. I don’t get it. Maybe you guys should give it a try:
1. Jacques Martin is about to have breakfast. He decides to eat:
a) Scrambled eggs.
b) A bowl of oatmeal.
c) A four-cheese lasagna.
2. Jacques is headed to the Carrefour Laval mall to buy his weekly gift for Bob Gainey. He has decided to get Bob a breadmaker from Sears. He parks:
a) Right outside the Sears entrance.
b) On the opposite side of the mall from the Sears entrance, so he can get a walk in.
c) In Sorel-Tracy.
3. Jacques just bought his wife a beautiful new painting, and she has decided she wants him to hang it up in the living room. Jacques grabs a nail and:
a) The hammer is right there, so he uses it to drive the nail into the wall.
b) For the love of God, Jacques, the hammer is right there, so he uses it to drive the nail into the wall.
c) He turns the house upside down looking for a heavy book he can use to drive the nail into the wall.
4. Jacques is going on a long road trip. He’s got about half a tank of gas in his car. He decides to:
a) Stop at a gas station right by his house.
b) Wait a while, cause everyone knows gas is cheaper in Ontario.
c) Siphon the gas out of the tank and replace it with a bag of ML-brand sugar.
5. Jacques is out fishing at Lake Erie with his buddies. All of a sudden, a big hole appears in the boat and it begins to fill with water. To plug up the hole, Jacques uses:
a) A rubber stopper.
b) Some fibreglass.
c) A couple of cotton balls.
6. Mrs. Martin wants a new sink installed in the guest bathroom. The last time she needed some work like this done, the plumber overcharged her and didn’t do his job, resulting in a huge expensive water leak. She decides to ask her husband to take care of the hiring this time. He:
a) Calls another plumber whose name he finds in the Yellow Pages
b) Asks his neighbour if the guy can recommend anyone.
c) Uses the same damn plumber over and over again.
7. The very patient Mrs. Martin can hear a noise in her brand new car, so she asks Jacques to check it out for her, as wives and girlfriends often do. Jacques takes the car for a spin, and indeed, there is a strange grating noise emanating from somewhere in the car. He then proceeds to:
a) Take her car to a mechanic.
b) Take her car back to the dealership and have words with the dude who sold it to her.
c) Leave the car as is and hope it doesn’t explode.
I picked mostly a)s and a couple of b)s… I got 0 out of 7. Hmmm.