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Week One in Vancouver

February 20, 2010
  • The British media is slamming our Games left and right. Probably to deflect attention away from the preparation for London 2012. We’ll see your Glitch Games and raise you an Olympic Clusterfuck, Brits.
  • So far, the United States is Owning Our Podium. As much as I love the United States (and it has loved me back), every two years my blood boils with hatred for them for a brief two week period. It is absolutely unnecessary for them to piss all over everyone’s hopes for glory at every sporting event. I am currently consoling myself with the fact that the Holy Grail of Gold Medals is much farther out of reach for the United States than it is for Russia, Canada, Sweden, Finland, and The Czech Republic. And may Jaro outduel Cryin’ Ryan if it ever comes to that.
  • We might not be leading in medal count, but there’s no question that we’re leading in the Cuteness of Medal Winners category. Marianne St Gelais has to be the most adorable thing since Alex Bilodeau. Like, I actually wanted to jump into my TV and hug her. Suck it, Vonn.
  • What if Canada doesn’t win Gold in men’s hockey? Will some crazed Canadian assassinate Sid? I know I will be inconsolable for the next four years. I would never hurt Sid, but I might punch one of you.
  • Jon Montgomery of Russell, Manitoba (Gold Medal Winner in Men’s Skeleton) is hilariously crazy. I love it. My friend thinks it’s because he’s a redhead. I’m not going to comment on that theory.
  • Our skiers are sad because we’re disappointed. Hey, could be worse for them. They could be Austrians.
  • Did you see Jaro stone Ovie? Twice?
  • Watching the short track relays is  quite the stressful experience. I wonder what it would be like watching those events on an acid trip.
  • I am so jealous of everybody out in Vancouver right now. I want to hang out with a bazillion Canadians all squished into Robson Square and eat Japadogs.
  • Congratulations to Teemu Selanne, who now owns the Olympic record for points. My favourite Teemu moment has nothing to do with goals, assists, or championships. It was in Turin, when Finland beat Russia to make the finals, and he stepped off the ice and gave CBC an interview, joking and laughing, all the while bleeding from the mouth from a puck or stick he took in the face. I love hockey.
7 Comments leave one →
  1. February 20, 2010 6:36 pm

    Bahahaha!! Sometimes you say what I know I can’t and I love that about you! And Japadogs are the weirdest things. All I can say.

    • theactivestick permalink*
      February 20, 2010 7:20 pm

      And now Brian Williams is talking about how Canada has 8 medals in total while the US has seven Alpine Skiing medals alone.

      The rants just write themselves, really.

      • February 21, 2010 8:44 am

        USA always pretty much owns the podium all the time… They have like 10-15 athletes per event!

  2. February 20, 2010 6:39 pm

    Tut tut! The UK know nothing about Winter Olympics. They can’t even take a friggin’ snowstorm. And I’m bitter because I have lost count at the number of times some British tourist nearly killed me as they attempted to ski at Tremblant.

    This tourney needs more of that SUI/NOR game. The Czechs have brought the awesome too. Russia? They’re all a bunch of hot heads. And I can’t find myself to cheer for Pronger. Guh. Fear Finland!

    I need one of those Quatchi hats…

    • theactivestick permalink*
      February 20, 2010 7:05 pm

      I’ve found it surprisingly easy to love Sid, Richards, Pronger and even Bobby Looouuuuuuuuuu since they arrived in Vancouver. I suspect I’ll go back to loathing them as soon as the Olympics are over. And if Canada doesn’t win Gold I will blame them.

  3. Harry M permalink
    February 23, 2010 9:33 am

    The London Games will go down as the worst sports gathering of all time. They have nothing on Vancouver. Suck on that British media.

    • theactivestick permalink*
      February 23, 2010 6:41 pm

      I’m glad we’re on the same side when it comes to the British Media sucking it.

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