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Time for the panic button!

January 24, 2010

Things are going a little too well for the Canadiens these days and I am afraid. Very afraid.

First the Habs got rid of BGL.
Then Mike Cammalleri told MaxLap some things he probably deserved.
Then they (especially Halak) played a great game in Ew Jersey and beat Fat Brodeur – two things that happen, like, never.
Then Sergei came back.
Then they (especially Halak) paid the Rangers back good here at home, with all the wonderful elements of that game, like Plekanec’s beauty of a goal and OB holding his own in a fight.
Then the Boston Bruins fell out of playoff contention in the standings.
Then we once again appreciated the magnitude of the fact that the Habs have a player like Benoit Pouliot on their roster.
Then Max Pacioretty got sent down to Hamilton which we know will do him a world of good.
Then Matt D’Agostini got sent down to Hamilton which we hope will do him a world of good.
Then the Penguins beat the Flyers allowing them no points in the standings.
Then the Boston Bruins got thumped 5-1, an outcome which never ceases to warm the heart of a true Habs fan. This last time it was by the Hurricanes, who also raised a bunch of money for Haiti relief during that game.

So you can see, fellow Canadiens fans, why I am incredibly suspicious.

I would like to use this space to make a plea to all of you out there: Please begin your Habs-related rituals. Don’t wait for the playoffs. Whether it’s pulling out an old Theodore jersey (I so do not have one), sleeping in your Markov shirt, staying in the bathroom all game cause that’s what makes Metro score goals, climbing the steps of St Joseph’s on your knees, or killing kittens, it’s time to start warding off the evil spirits cause things are going well for our Canadiens and this? Can only end in disappointment. And the terrorists winning. (True story: in an international poll of terrorists of all ages and walks of life, the Pittsburgh Penguins won out as the hockey team of choice, followed closely by the Toronto Maple Leafs.)

6 Comments leave one →
  1. January 24, 2010 8:45 pm


    excellent! finally, killing kittens is encouraged.

    • theactivestick permalink*
      January 24, 2010 8:55 pm

      And don’t forget… if you like the Pittsburgh Penguins, you’re with the evil-doers.

      • January 24, 2010 9:07 pm

        “like” is such a strong word.

        i don’t “like” them so much as i would engage in some light canoodling with a few of their players.

        i mean, what’s worse, the pens or the leafs/bruins/sens/rangers? i hate all of those guys.

  2. theactivestick permalink*
    January 24, 2010 9:16 pm

    My light canoodling list includes one or two unnamed Penguins, too. Doesn’t mean I want the team to win the Stanley Cup, though.
    I think you’re safe.

  3. January 25, 2010 12:10 am

    It’s true! Every time I’m in the washroom, Metro scores!


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