Scrubbing myself with steel wool
May 31, 2011
- I am cheering for Maxim Lapierre’s name to be on the Stanley Cup.
- The same Cup that has Jean Beliveau’s name on it.
- I am cheering for Fucking Ryan Kesler, who made us all hate America last year.
- Incidentally, I have also developed a crush on the aforesaid Fucking Ryan Kesler.
- I am cheering for Alexandre Despatie Burrows.
- I am cheering for Roberto Luongo to do something I constantly laugh at him for not being able to do.
- I am cheering for the Sedin twins, who are not the top two forwards in the NHL, despite what Nucks fans would have you believe.
- Also they’re strange-looking and it really freaks me out.
- I am cheering for Jim Hughson to be able to call a Stanley Cup Win for the Vancouver Canucks.
- I am cheering for those attention whores, the Green Men and Canucks Boob Girl, to celebrate in the streets of Vancouver.
- I am cheering for the rest of the Vancouver fanbase to become even more intolerable than the rest of Canada currently finds them.
- I am cheering for… Raffi Torres.
There will not be enough heroin in the world if the Boston Bruins win this thing.