Other stuff Stevie can have

When the news broke that Steve Yzerman had traded Kari Ramo to the Montreal Canadiens for Cedrick Desjardins, Habs fans were understandably upset. After all, a dude they’d paid no attention to in the ECHL and AHL for more than 3 years was being taken from the Habs by Steve Yzerman in exchange for a dude whose name they’d only heard once or twice.

Since Yzerman seems pretty set on taking as much from the Habs as he possibly can, I’ve devised a plan that’s going to protect us Habs fans from further heartbreaks like losing our backup-to-our-third-string-goalie. Here’s what we’re gonna do: mark all the stuff we’d be willing to give up to Stevie with a big green sticker, so he’ll know what’s cool to steal and what’s spoken for in Montreal. I’ve already started putting green stickers on some stuff Stevie can have:

For free, Stevie, for FREE

• Jack Todd.
• The Habs’ inevitable early season slump.
• Fans who show up to games wearing blackface.
• The Boston Bruins and all their fans (no need to send the Panthers and their fan back this way).
• Anybody who has ever appeared on l’Antichambre.
• The Habs’ inevitable mid-season slump.
• Fans who boo or drown out any national anthem.
• Jacques Martin.
• That throwback jersey that looked like a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey that the Habs wore that one game.
• Scott Gomez’s cap hit.
• PJ Stock.
• The Habs’ inevitable late season slump.
• Fans who boo Carey Price.
• Anyone in the Montreal/Quebec MSM with a blogue.
• All the losses to the Maple Leafs the Habs were gonna have this year.
• Except that OT loss in the final game of the regular season, we’re keeping that one cause we need it.
• All the lighters, matches, portable gas cylinders and accelerants within 500km of the city.
• Dan Ellis… oh. Right.

Mad lovez to Don’t Trade Vinny for the picture of a heavily-discounted J-Mart. Say hi.

And feel free to tell me if I’ve missed anything.